


casual

by nononei (orphan_account)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, but it kind of focuses on sex?, there's no actual sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-13
Updated: 2015-07-13
Packaged: 2018-04-09 04:47:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4334432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/nononei
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tsukishima and Kuroo have different ideas about what kind of relationship they have.</p>
            </blockquote>





	casual

The first time was supposed to be the only time. In all honesty, that probably shouldn’t have happened either. But Kuroo had kissed Tsukishima, and Tsukishima had kissed him back. If he’d been thinking, maybe he wouldn’t have, but he’d liked Kuroo since the first year of high school and the situation was making it very hard to think properly.

One thing led to another and they’d ended up in Kuroo’s bed, where Kuroo had fucked him so slowly and gently that Tsukishima could almost convince himself that there were feelings other than lust behind it. Almost. 

Tsukishima could understand how it had happened the first time. He was weak, and stupid, and a little bit in love. But that wasn’t a good excuse for the second time. Or the third, or tenth.

Tsukishima was aware that keeping track of the number of times he’d had sex with Kuroo was weird. Really, it accomplished nothing other than making Tsukishima feel bad. Every time they did it was a time when he could have said he was done, told Kuroo how he felt, or done anything other than just go along like he always did.

It wasn’t until the nineteenth time (twentieth if you counted the blowjob in a restaurant bathroom) that Tsukishima finally convinced himself to just talk to Kuroo. More specifically, it was just after the nineteenth time, which in hindsight was a questionable time to talk about anything even remotely serious. Waiting until they both had clothes on might have been a good idea.

Kuroo’s arms were wrapped around Tsukishima’s waist, but Tsukishima pulled away, like creating physical distance between them would make it easier for him to say what he wanted to say.

“I don’t want to do this anymore.”

The content smile that always appeared on Kuroo’s face post-orgasm was suddenly replaced by a look Tsukishima didn’t know. He looked hurt, and of course Tsukishima wouldn’t know that look. He’d never hurt Kuroo before, and he didn’t want to be doing so now.

“Wow, not even two minutes since your dick was in my ass…”

Kuroo laughed, and that was new too. It wasn’t his usual laugh that Tsukishima liked so much; it was hollow and sad.

Tsukishima knew he was doing it wrong. This was supposed to make things better for both of them, not make them both feel like complete shit.

He didn’t want to say it, but he knew he had to say something. Tsukishima couldn’t stand the look on Kuroo’s face. It was sad and awful, and he had to try to make it go away.

Tsukishima turned away from Kuroo and said it quietly, a kind of signal to Kuroo that if he wanted to ignore what Tsukishima said and pretend the whole thing hadn’t happened, he could.

“This isn’t what I want, just casual sex or whatever. I—I like you.”

He sounded so stupid. He felt so stupid.

He felt even worse when Kuroo laughed, this time a genuine laugh.

Tsukishima couldn’t bring himself to look at Kuroo.

There was really no need for him to have brought it up. It was only a matter of time before Kuroo realised how pathetic Tsukishima was, before he got tired of him and ended this thing. He should have known that.

“I thought you were supposed to be smart Tsukki,” Kuroo said, a hint of laughter in his voice.

Strangely enough, the way he said it was decidedly not mean. Tsukishima was pretty sure that only Kuroo could take something so insulting and make it sound nice.

Tsukishima had to look at Kuroo then, because maybe the look on his face would give some clue as to what he was talking about.

Kuroo still didn’t look quite like his normal self, but that unbearable look of hurt was gone.

“Have we been experiencing the same thing these past few months?”

“Huh?”

Tsukishima had no idea how to respond to that. Of course they had, but Kuroo seemed to be implying that Tsukishima had missed something.

“You know, I’m not really an expert on this ‘casual sex’ thing, but I’m pretty sure that’s not what we’ve been doing.”

Kuroo could say what he wanted, but Tsukishima was certain he couldn’t have missed that. They definitely weren’t dating, so he couldn’t begin to guess what Kuroo thought they were doing.

“Then what exactly is it that you think we’ve been doing?”

“Having really good sex?”

“Casually.”

“Fuck, Tsukki, listen to me. Don’t you think there’s a bit too much cuddling and going out together and having fucking breakfast the next morning for this to be just some ‘casual sex’?”

Tsukishima let Kuroo place a hand on his cheek and guide his head up so their eyes met.

When Kuroo spoke again, it was with a level of seriousness that Tsukishima hardly ever saw from him.

“If you don’t want to do this anymore, that’s fine. But it’s not just sex to me, okay. I like kissing you, and going shopping with you, and sitting there while you work on your stupid school work. So don’t act like you’re the only one who has feelings.”

Tsukishima hadn’t been sure what would happen after he said what he did, but he never would have imagined that things would happen as they did. He wanted to avert his eyes from Kuroo’s, but refrained from doing so. He had to be serious now too.

“I’m sorry,” he said just loud enough for Kuroo to hear.

“Does that mean you’re staying?”

“Tonight or generally?”

“Either. Both.”

“Yes.”

“So it’s cool if I kiss you then?”

Tsukishima rolled his eyes but nodded, and with that very Kuroo transition, everything was okay again. Kuroo was kissing him, and it felt nicer than it ever had before, without all the annoying thoughts at the back of his mind.

When Kuroo kept kissing him Tsukishima thought he might be going for a round two, but not long after that Kuroo stopped kissing him, instead snuggling up to Tsukishima’s side.

When Tsukishima woke up the next morning, limbs tangled with Kuroo’s, it was the first time he didn’t hate himself for it. Instead he just loved Kuroo, even if he did look like a total idiot in his sleep. But he was a cute idiot. A cute idiot whom Tsukishima was having definitely-not-casual sex with.

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be funny and it's not. It's also really short again. Ughhhhh. I need to work on writing longer things (with plots maybe *gasp*) but I'm an unfortunate combination of unmotivated and busy. Sorry, world. 
> 
> also I AM SO PROUD OF MY MOON BBY! Not as proud as Akiteru is, but still pretty damn proud.


End file.
